New Chapters & Changes

So, as usual, it's been a month or two since I've mused my thoughts on here. It's still a goal of mine to write more regularly, and I think as things progress with some projects I'm beginning/working on that is will honestly happen more regularly and come more naturally to me.  I'm such a perfectionist, so it's hard to narrow my thought process and regularly write things of a meaningful nature. I'm not going to start writing weekly, just to write weekly. I want to always have meaningful or at least informative content.  However, today's post may not be so eloquent, but it is what it is. I write on this blog to keep friends and family updated, but I also hope to expand upon that soon.  Let me start....

For those who have not heard, my husband, Michael, left his job (willingly) as a school teacher this month.  He finished his last day of classes with kids a week ago today.  We came to this decision together way back in February, but I have not been able to write about the experience due to his employer not knowing his plans until about a month ago - and he officially resigned about mid-May. So, to many, this has been recent news.

Mr. Bollero's last concert.

Making decisions like this one have been the biggest indication to me that my husband and I are officially adults. That may sound weird, but when we got married at 20 and 25, I don't know, there was still so much youth and everyone knows that the first year or two of marriage is pretty much an extended honeymoon phase, so your vision is a little hazy. This was one of the first major decisions we have come to make together regarding our welfare. Giving up a secure, decent paying job is a tough thing to do, but we knew it was the right thing.  Last December marked our embarkment into year 3 of marriage and the figurative seasons of our relationship have definitely changed, and this is a good thing. With different seasons come different pros and cons.

The first two years of our marriage we were, let's be honest, still getting to know each other.  Not just because our courtship and engagement were very short by society's standards, but because being married is a lot different than courting or being engaged - I think people who dated for 10 years before marrying could still say they had more getting-to-know-each-other to do than they'd imagined in the first few years of marriage...anyway, moving on. What I mean is, we got to know each other on a much deeper level and as the years have gone by attitudes, interests, and ideals have definitely changed.

Let me break this down a little better.

Our lives have chapters, or seasons as I said above, as individuals. 

Furthermore, our relationships have chapters as well. So with my husband, our chapters look a little like this:

CHAPTER ONE: Falling in Love

CHAPTER TWO: "Let's get married!"

CHAPTER THREE: Getting hitched.

CHAPTER FOUR: Finishing what we started.

CHAPTER FIVE: "Let's do fun things together, like travel!"

Niagara Falls - Canada - March 2013

Rome, Italy - June 2014

Florence, Italy - June 2014

Venice, Italy - June 2014

Bern, Switzerland - June 2014

Geneva, Switzerland - June 2014

Lyon, France - July 2014

Marseille, France - July 2014

Paris, France - July 2014

London, England - July 2014

NYC - July 2014

CHAPTER SIX: "I guess we can buy a house!? Why not?!"

See this blog post. :) 

CHAPTER SEVEN: 

"Oh, wow, look. We've done a lot of amazing things together but what is next?"

So, there's where we landed in February after we bought our house. For anyone who's been married for any amount of time, you know that every few months or years, as a couple, you evaluate where you stand in life.

After Christmas break, my husband went back to work and things just weren't clicking. At least, that's how I witnessed it.  And to be honest, it had actually been like that long before February, but at this point he'd just reached a breaking point - so much so that I could feel it and I was breaking too. Something had to change.

Let's talk about money. I know. I am not starting with this to sound greedy or selfish, but we're being honest here. You have to have money to live, and teacher's (SADLY) don't make enough of it.

Let me repeat. We are not greedy people. We both grew up in humble homes and were taught the value of a dollar, but as we looked towards the future and the "what's next" question, naturally money was a factor. We don't want to struggle for the rest of our lives to make ends meet, and if that sounds selfish, then so be it. It is what it is. Right now it's just me and him and we do fine. I can honestly say, we have never had to worry about money in our marriage and we acknowledge that and feel EXTREMELY blessed for the circumstances in which we live. We also want to be able to help others without having to worry, and often money is a big part of that - whether you're providing meals or giving rides, etc. 

Okay - I'm getting a little long-winded. Let me just print out clearly the main factors for our breaking point.

• The money conversation was actually only a topic of interest, not because of our current standing (I mean, obviously - we did buy a house), but really only the WORRY for our future financial stability. We want to have kids, and as the world always likes to point out, kids are expensive. So the main anxiety my husband had was that he can't continue this work or he will die young over constant stress-induced-financial-worry or from working multiple jobs just to be able to provide for a family that he'd never be able to spend time with because he'd be working all the time...You get what I'm saying?

•  ...that's what most teachers have to do, they either work two jobs - or have a partner/spouse who provides a substantial sub-income.  Yes, I have a job, but my income is nothing to be flaunted.  Michael was literally working 12-hour days. You think teachers have it easy with their summers off and 8-3pm hours? WRONG WRONG WRONG. My husband left our house every day at 6;30am - before I got out of bed - and because he is a music teacher - he taught private lessons daily to help boost his income - but since private lessons are after school he would teach until about 6pm and not get home until 7pm or 8pm most nights because of commute traffic.  He'd come home exhausted, in a bad mood, and with literally one hour of free-time before he had to go to bed so he could wake up and do it again. I missed him like crazy everyday and it was really hard for us as a couple...we could not do this for 30 more years as a couple, let alone bring kids into the picture.

• ...It has been like that almost since the beginning of our marriage. In February, both of us were over it. We said something has got to change or we were going to be setting ourselves up for a lot of hard years ahead. Also, we know money doesn't solve all the worlds' problems, as stated above, this decision to make a change was the combination of many different factors - temporal, mental, emotional, physical, spiritual - pretty much everything put together.  We often discussed how much nicer it would be if he could secure ONE job, that would at least provide a comparable income to his now TWO jobs that way he could at least be home more as well as maintain his sanity. He didn't hate teaching, but he didn't love it, and he often expressed how his passion level no where near matched the passion level many of his colleagues possessed.  It just wasn't his jam, and I know, a lot of people have jobs they're not passionate about, but if you can, then why not?? Also, why not make the change while it is still more easily attainable?  If my husband were 45 years old and wanting to make a career change, I may ask him to reconsider, but that's not the case, so here we go...

Can I just say, for a while, maybe since last summer, I had suggested that it might be time for Michael to go back to school. For him, at the time, it did not seem like the right answer, but in February I brought it up again.  We turned to the Lord and prayed about it, and after much thought and consideration Michael was on board.  We began to research the MBA program at the University of Arkansas and the more research he did about the program and benefits of having an MBA, the more right it felt.  So, Michael dived in. He checked out every GMAT book from the library and used every ounce of free-time he could to study.  I didn't see much of him in February or March, but I knew it would all pay off. 

It did. He took the GMAT in April and did very well, he is too humble to say it, but I will, because that is what wives do, brag for their smart husbands. He submitted his official application at the end of April and we have been waiting and waiting. We were confident he would be accepted, but Michael did not want to quit the security of his job until he officially knew. Unfortunately, he ended up having to tell his boss and resign without hearing back from the program and we have been living on faith and hope for the last 4 weeks. Finally, today, we received the letter we have been waiting for with some VERY good news!

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is amazing news and we are feeling very excited and VEEEEEEEERRRRY blessed.  We know we are being taken care of by a loving Heavenly Father. 

I said it before, this is certainly not going to solve all of our future trials, but we really feel that by getting an MBA and getting in to a job that will provide a better salary and more opportunities for promotion and growth (because there's no such thing as that in education), that we will be able to live more comfortably in our future, especially when we have children and I may want to stay home full time with kids.

Also, on that note. I apologize if you clicked on my post today expecting a big announcement. :) Hahaha - we get the baby question A LOT more often these days because temporally we have literally no reason to keep waiting. I'll be straight up honest with y'all because I've been doing that a lot in this post: we want to have a baby. As a part of this next chapter we are fully prepared to roll with the punches of being "real adults" and if a baby falls in to the picture we would be happy to receive it. We have been doing nothing (for "a while") to prevent a baby from living in our house. In fact, we think we would make really good roommates with one.

Does that answer your question? Good. Now you don't have to ask. :) 

Phew - that last sentence sounded kind of mean, but I promise, I am not yet in a remorseful baby-hungry state. So, if you are really inclined to talk to me about it (although, I don't know why you would be), you can. I know it is a really sore subject for some people who seriously struggle, but I am very at ease with the timing.  I know God has a plan for me, and in the mean-time I'm going to keep pursuing the things that bring me joy. Family time, immersing myself in the Word of God, and working more vigorously on my songwriting and creative endeavors.  

Michael and I have never purposefully planned the way things would go with our lives. In fact, I never imagined I'd be settled in a house before having kids, but here I am, sitting in my house, writing this post. Everything we've pursued and have done together has been very organic, it's always felt right the way things have happened. So we know children will be the same way, whenever the time comes. We also know (so you don't have to tell us) that we can still travel, work, and do things for ourselves after kids come along. In fact, I fully plan to never give up on my dreams to be a songwriter or to work someway in the field of creativity - whether it be songwriting, producing, or blogging/vlogging...but that's another post, because this one is starting to get too long and off the original topic, so I'll wrap up.

I am so proud of my husband for the sacrifices he has made and will continue to make for me and our future family. I know they will bring him happiness, too and that our future it bright. We are excited to start our new "real adult" chapter and see what the future has in store for us! I hope anyone who has read this (thanks for sticking it out to the end of my rant) feels inspired to make any changes they have been feeling the need to do, whether it be with your job, education, personal life, etc. - make it happen! It is very scary at first when you are facing them, but I know God blesses us when we act in faith.

Hope you all have a blessed day!